The Fruit of Her Hands (Day 22)

3 Reactions to Proverbs 31:
            1. Reject it – it’s out dated, go with the culture of today.
            2. Mt. Siani – striving to do it on our own (Ex 24:3).
            3. Mt Calvary – Gal 2:20 Christ’s STRENGHT!

“Jesus would You be Jesus in me?” 

"Would You do in me what I can’t do apart from You?”

It’s a life of faith; it’s a life of dependence—not of striving and struggling, but of saying, “I can’t do this; but Jesus, would You be Jesus in me? I can’t love that husband. I can’t love those children. I can’t have that diligent, hard working, industrious spirit. I’m going to get worn out in this effort. I can’t speak words that are kind and wise all the time. My mouth just runs away. Leave me to myself, Lord, and I’m going to be one unpleasant person to live with. But Lord, I know that You’re living in me, and You can do this in me and through me. And by faith, I want to let You live that life. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and be in me and through me what I could never be.”

It’s the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for me. It means that it’s finished. I don’t have to strive. I don’t have to struggle. He’s paid the price for my sin. He now lives in me to fulfill the righteousness of His Law.

So this passage is a call, as is the whole Word of God, to walk in dependence upon the power of the Holy Spirit. You say, “Does that mean I’ll never blow it again?” No, because we’re so prone to get back to Mount Sinai and try do it on our own, or to reject the picture.

But when you find yourself having rejected the picture of God’s Law, or you find yourself back in that cycle of trying to strive and perform, just stop. Get quiet before the Lord and say, “Lord, I’m so sorry. I repent of trying to do this on my own.” It’s just as sinful to try and do it on your own as it is to reject the picture, because either way, you’re doing it apart from Christ. Whatever is not of faith is sin.

And you can read all of those things, and you can say, “That sounds like such a sacrificial lifestyle. This woman didn’t have any life of her own.” Do you know what Jesus said? “If you hold onto your life, you’ll lose it.” Here’s a woman who understands the paradox of the ways of Christ. If you lay down your life, you’ll get it back. You have to be willing to give it up in order to really have it (see John 12:25).

So many women today, and so many times in our lives, we’re holding on to our own rights: my time, my privacy, my peace of mind, my space. We’re being self-protective, self-seeking, and what happens? We end up alone and miserable. Broken relationships, broken homes, no one to care for us in our old age—we see that happening with a lot of older people today.

If we live selfish lives now, we will reap the fruit of our own hands. Our own works will be what we have to live with long-term. This woman is selfless. She’s giving; she’s sacrificial; she’s serving; but as you read this passage, there’s no indication that she’s a miserable woman. I mean, look at her! She’s well-clothed; she’s well-fed. She has a husband who’s wild about her. He brags about her to his friends. She’s got kids who rise up and bless her. What woman could ask for more? She laid down her life, and she’ll be praised.

Let me say, by the way, we will reap what we sow. This woman reaps what she has sown over a lifetime of fearing the Lord and living out that fear of the Lord. But the beginning of Proverbs tells us about another kind of seed we can sow. In Proverbs chapter one, we read, beginning in verse 29, “Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord.” Proverbs 31 says this woman chose the fear of the Lord.

Proverbs one says some people don’t choose the fear of the Lord. “They would have none of my counsel. They despised my every rebuke.” This is Wisdom speaking, and the Lord speaking, and He’s saying that if you won’t take My counsel, if you won’t take My instruction, if you won’t choose the fear of the Lord, verse 31, “therefore, they shall eat the fruit of their own way. They will be filled to the full with their own fancies” (Proverbs 1:29–31).

Let me tell you, ladies, one way or the other, you and I will eat the fruit of our ways, or the choices of our hands. The foolish person, Proverbs chapter one, won’t regard the counsel of God, will not accept God’s picture of what it means to be a godly woman, rejects the fear of the Lord, and that person will eat the fruit of their own hands, the fruit of their own works.

H.A. Ironside was a long time ago wonderful Bible teacher. In his commentary on the book of Proverbs, he closes this portion by saying that we can see in this last verse of Proverbs 31, “More than a hint of what awaits the Christian at the judgment seat of Christ.” Let me say ladies, if you’re in it for the short term, for the short haul, you’re not going to get the paycheck or the rewards soon enough. You’ll give up. You’ll get discouraged.

So, Ironside says to look to what awaits us at the judgment seat of Christ. Look down the road. He says, “When the mists of earth have gone on forever, such a woman,” the kind of woman we’ve been reading about in Proverbs 31, “that kind of woman will appear in her Lord’s own presence with rejoicing, bearing her sheaves with her. At His feet, she will cast down the fruit of her hands and the works accomplished through His grace to have all surveyed by Christ. How sweet to hear His words of approval in the gate.”¹

Let me say, you may never have heard man’s words of approval this side of Heaven, but if you’re living out this life by the power of the Holy Spirit, one day you will hear those words of approval in the gate, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord” (Matthew 25:23).

Ironside goes on to say, “At that moment who will regret the days of toil and nights of watching? Who then would exchange the saint’s path and portion with all its responsibilities as well as privileges, for a place of ease and careless enjoyment of a few fleeting hours on earth? Not one. Living in view,” he says, “of that sacred hour when all our works will be inspected by Him who has won our deepest affections, may we purposely and earnestly cling to Christ. May we hold fast to His faithful Word, not denying His name, while we wait here for His return.”

Focused on the Eternal (Day 21)

I looked at that word deceitful this morning in one of my reference books, and some of the synonyms are: it’s a sham; it’s fraud; it’s worthless; it’s misleading. Charm by itself without godly character is a sham. It’s a fraud. It’s just a front. It’s a cover-up.

It reminds me of that verse in Proverbs that says, “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman who is without discretion” (Proverbs 11:22). She’s a sham. She’s got physical charm, outward form of beauty, but it’s a fraud. It’s not the real thing.

No matter how well you succeed at this external beauty thing, if you haven’t been working at the heart—the attitudes, the spirit, the character—you’re a loser. A woman who fears the Lord—now that woman, she has something that’s lasting, something that’s true, something that’s of great value. It won’t pass away.

I think this verse, the second part of this verse, is the key to this whole chapter. “A woman who fears the Lord.”

Proverbs 1:7 tells us? “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” It’s the starting place.

Proverbs is the book about wisdom—how to live life wisely, how to look at all of life from God’s perspective, how to deal with every practical aspect of life in a wise way. Where does it start? With the fear of the Lord.

You want to know how to raise your children? You want to know how to love that difficult husband? You want to know how to order your priorities? Proverbs talks about them all. But where does it all start? With the fear of the Lord.

And some of us as Christian women are kind of like that stick in the ground with just some Christian behaviors stuck on. You see, if you don’t have a relationship with God that is a truly spiritual, vital, growing relationship; if your roots aren’t in your relationship with God and you don’t have the love of God and the reverence of God coursing through your veins, then the fruit that comes out is not going to be spiritual fruit.

Once you develop the fear of the Lord in your life, you’ll find it’s not so hard to bear fruit. It comes—well, I don’t want to say naturally; it comes supernaturally. The fruit will be there if you’re taking care of the roots in your relationship with God.

Now does that mean she’s afraid of God? Well, in a sense we should be afraid of God. But we know that according to the Proverbs, to fear the Lord means to have a reverential trust in God, to reverence God, not to take His name in vain, not to take Him lightly, but to have this reverence, this awe of God.

And with that comes a hatred of evil. A reverential trust with a hatred of evil. To love God is to hate all that God hates. So that’s what we mean by a woman who fears the Lord. This is a woman who lives in the constant, conscious awareness of God’s presence. She lives every moment of her life, every aspect of her life, with the consciousness that God is here, that the eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good.

If you want to become this woman of virtue, develop a sense of the fear of the Lord. Now you can’t develop that apart from spending time with God in His Word. His Word will help you to develop that reverence for Him, that awe for Him, that trust in Him and that hatred of evil. And then everything about your life will be ordered around that consciousness of God’s presence.

That’s what gives her life value and worth, and that’s what makes her attractive to God and to the right kinds of people. So the point here is let virtue be your primary objective, not physical beauty.

And that picks up on a theme that we read about in 1 Peter chapter 3 beginning in verse 3 where Peter says, “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is the way the holy women of old made themselves beautiful.” Peter says. “They trusted in God and accepted the authority of their husbands” (1 Peter 3:3–6, New Living).

And what is that beauty? It’s defined in this passage as a woman who has a gentle spirit, a quiet spirit, a woman who is holy, a woman who trusts God, and a woman who accepts the authority of her husband.

The woman who fears the Lord has a certain kind of demeanor and beauty about her. But this is now talking about a different kind of woman, women with haughty hearts. And the Scripture says, “They walk along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps with ornaments jingling on their ankles. Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion. The Lord will make their scalps bald” (verses 16-17). 

What is he saying? Beauty of that external, worldly type is fading. It doesn’t last. And the Lord can take it away as quickly as you got it.

Verse 18, “In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, the earrings and bracelets and veils, the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, the signet rings and nose rings, the fine robes and the capes and cloaks, the purses and mirrors, and the linen garments and tiaras and shawls.”

Does that sound kind of modern? Now it’s not saying that those things are wrong, but it’s talking about women who have the kind of heart that is preoccupied with the external. And the Scripture says if that’s your focus, that’s coming out of a haughty heart rather than a heart that fears the Lord, you are going to be a loser. God is going to snatch it away. It’s not going to last.

Verse 24 (I’m still in Isaiah 3), this is a very graphic passage. “Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding.”

Now, I don’t think that’s talking about just the physical. I don’t think it’s saying that all ungodly women will one day go bald. That’s not the point. The point is if you have focused on the external and your external is influenced by a haughty or a proud heart, then one day all the things you thought were so beautiful and precious and worthwhile are going to be taken away from you. You’re going to have nothing to show for a lifetime of effort.

The lines, the hardness in their eyes, the misery in their hearts—it’s a testimony that this passage is true.

Now I know that in the immediate context God is talking about the nation of Israel. And He goes on to say in Isaiah 3:25, “Your men will fall by the sword, your warriors in battle.” And don’t we see today where we have men not being men, not being the warriors, the leaders that we need them to be?

Verse 26, “The gates of Zion will lament and mourn; destitute she will sit on the ground.”

So in the context here, it’s a picture of what’s going to happen to the nation of Israel. But isn’t it interesting that God chose women to personify the nation? I believe that women even more than men picture and reflect the spirit and the heart of a nation.

I hear so many women express to me what a concern and a frustration it is to them that men won’t be leaders. Men won’t be spiritual. Men won’t be men. And I’m not saying that these are not valid concerns. We ought to make this a matter of prayer rather than of criticism.

In the very next chapter in the book of Isaiah we see God’s solution, God’s plan, and how He wants to deal with the sinfulness of a nation and the sinfulness of its women. In Isaiah 4 we read about God purifying and cleansing the women of Zion.

Verse 4: “The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion.” Aren’t you glad for mercy? Don’t you thank God that there’s grace through the blood of Jesus Christ? There’s cleansing. There’s forgiveness.

“The Lord will wash away the filth of the women of Zion; he will cleanse the blood stains from Jerusalem by spirit of judgment and a spirit of fire” (NIV). 

Listen, women, revival is costly. Cleansing can be painful. It means repenting of our haughty, selfish ways and coming back to a humble heart that fears the Lord.

But then verse 5: “The Lord will create over all of Mount Zion and over those who assemble there a cloud of smoke by day and a glow of flaming fire by night.”

What’s the smoke and what’s the fire? The Old Testament—it’s the presence of God. You want the presence of God over your home? You want the presence of God over your church? Some of you are so burdened for your homes, your churches, your communities as we ought to be. But how do we get that? By the women being willing to be cleansed and purified.

“Over all the glory will be a canopy. It will be a shelter and a shade from the heat of the day and a refuge and a hiding place from the storm and the rain” (Isaiah 4:4–6, NIV).

Oh, women, as we’re willing to walk in the fear of the Lord, to be cleansed from our guilt, from our filth by the fire of God’s presence, then He will send to our homes, to our churches, to our communities and to this nation a new sense of His presence, His protection, and His glory.

     O Lord I pray that You create in me a clean heart. Jesus, please help me to have a gentle and quiet spirit, one that trusts in You and doesn't give into worry, or is easily upset. Jesus cleanse me with Your fire, through the reading of Your Word, and Father, give me a hunger for Your Word. Help me to desire You through it more than life itself. Come into my life Jesus, change me and make me the woman You dreamed up: make me more like You. mmm - You are so good. Thank You God. Thank You for love me. For watching over me. Taking care of me. Giving me the absolute best. O Jesus may I give You my best as well. I'm sorry I haven't been lately, help me to change that, Jesus. I love You. I want to make You smile, I want to be fruitful and I don't want this to be all-for-not. Do a good work in me Jesus, and may I be known for my good deeds. Amen.

The Reward (Day 20)

In the recesses of our hearts, we have to wonder at moments, “Do I get anything out of this? What’s the reward? What’s the benefit?”

At long last, in Proverbs 31, we’re coming to the last paragraph, which is the section that tells us about the rewards of being a woman of virtue. Now, these rewards don’t all come at the same time and none of them come quickly. You have to be patient. You have to endure. You have to go through a lot of tears and heartache and pain and hard labor to get the rewards in much the same way magnified . . . There’s no way—those of you that are mothers—that you could have brought a child into this world without going through labor.

The problem is today people bail out on their marriages. They bail out on their families because there’s no reward in it. They didn’t wait long enough. They wanted the reward now. They wanted it instantly. They wanted to have after three years of marriage what you can’t have until you’ve been married 30, 40, 50 years.

I’m watching some of my elderly friends now, I mean old people who now, after having been married 60 or more years, are reaping in their marriage sweet and precious things in their relationship that are richer than what they ever experienced in their younger years.

But here we’re talking about mothers and children. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Here’s a woman who’s rewarded. She’s loved. She’s praised. If you keep in mind the Middle Eastern culture in which this passage was originally written, this is really surprising because there was very little said in this culture in praise of women. The Scripture and the Lord and Christ have always elevated the value and the worth of women in a culture. That’s what this passage does for us.

They rise up and call her blessed. It doesn’t necessarily mean that when you walk in the room, your children all stand up to show you how much they respect and honor you, though I would say that’s not a bad idea.

More likely, it means that your children grow up to live in a way that brings blessing and credit and honor to their mother. That the way they live when they become adults will reflect positively on the investment that you made in their lives and the way that you brought them up. It means that your children have a better chance than anyone else’s children of growing up to live godly lives and to fulfill God’s role for them in their homes. The fruit of your children’s lives as they grow to walk with God is your blessing. Her children rise up and their lives call her blessed.

I love that passage in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, verse 19, where Paul says, thinking of his spiritual children, “For what is our hope, or joy, or our crown of rejoicing? Is it not even you [the ones we’ve discipled, the ones we’ve nurtured] in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming? For you are our glory and our joy.” Those of you who have children who have grown up to walk with God, aren’t they your joy and your blessing?

Now, this is not a promise that every child who grows up in a Christian or a godly home will grow up to fear and honor the Lord because they will have the responsibility of making their own choices to follow Christ even as you have had to choose to follow Christ. But I think it does say that this is the way that it ought to be. This is the way, by God’s grace, you pray that it will be, that your children will grow up to reflect in a godly way on what you have invested in their lives.

A Calling.

The daughter said:

I know a woman who lived a truth she found in Proverbs 31, and as she lived

She proclaimed it with all her being.

Arise women! You can be beautiful as God created you to be!

Surrender your lives to the task, Oh women, we are here to serve Him!

So, give your body to bear His glory! 

[That’s what this daughter had heard from her mom.]

Give your hands to comfort and prepare, your mouth to teach and your arms to bear

The weight of your children’s woes. Be the fuel to your husband’s flame and help him

Cast its light. And be the one on bended knees—you are God’s precious bride!

So, go to the Father to find who you are, and not to this world of deception.

For He has a beauty to make out of you, so surrender, surrender.

While our world is quickly extinguishing all that we women long to be,

I see one who stands unyielding in God’s truth and grace and plan.

Truth with no excuses.

What is a woman of God? What is the call to motherhood?

What does it mean to be a godly wife who serves?

I don’t really know . . . . but have you met my mother?

This mom told me that when her daughter brought this to her, she just lost it. She just lost it. And this daughter signed, “P.S.: [to her mom] You are my inspiration to someday be selfless and humble. A mother who knows why she is a mother and does it with joy . . . Thank you! I love you.”

Many of you are familiar with the name of Bill Bright—Dr. Bright, the founder and president of Campus Crusade for Christ. He tells the story about his mother who was what many would consider an ordinary woman. As Mrs. Bright lay dying at age 93, no fewer than 109 members of her family—that was children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great, great-grandchildren—109 of them made their way one after the other to her bedside to express love and appreciation for her life. They did it before the funeral. They came back to say thank you. Her children, her family rose up to call her blessed.

But verse 28 goes on to tell us that her husband does as well. He praises her. He says, verse 29, “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” You surpass them all. You’re the greatest. You’re the best.

Charles Spurgeon—many of you know that name—great British preacher of the 1800s, wrote a tribute to his wife Susannah. Here’s in part what he said:

She delights in her husband. [Now this is the husband writing about his wife.] She delights in her husband, in his person, his character, his affection; to her, he is not only the chief and foremost of mankind, but in her eyes, he is all in all. Her heart’s love belongs to him and to him only.

 He is her little world, her paradise, her choice treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him; she seeks no renown for herself; his honor is reflected upon her, and she rejoices in it. She will defend his name with her dying breath; safe enough is he where she can speak for him. His smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks. Even in her dress she thinks of him, and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him. 

He has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand; but she believes them all, and anything she can do to promote them, she delights to perform. Such a wife, as a true spouse, realizes the model marriage relation, and sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be.¹

Here’s a man who was saying in effect, “My wife surpasses them all.” She had earned that respect. She had earned that honor because she was a woman who didn’t live for herself, but she lived to be a blessing and a service and a helper—a support—to her husband and to their children.

Man 2: “How can I pray for you today? What are you facing that is difficult?” She’ll ask me those same questions and then we’ll just briefly pray for each other and remind ourselves that we care spiritually for each other.

Man 5: The maturity I’ve seen in her to trust God for whatever the problem might be. There’s an underlying foundation there of being secure and being aware that God is in charge and God loves us and God is the basis for our marriage.

Now, as we look at a passage like this one we’ve been seeing in Proverbs 31, I’m tempted to speak to men for just a moment and say, “What this passage means is you need to praise your wives.” But you know what, God didn’t call me to speak to men. God did call me to speak to women, so what does this passage say to us as women? It says that if you will watch your walk with God, the time will come when there will be a reward.

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “But my husband doesn’t praise me. I’m trying to please my husband. I’m trying to please the Lord.” Maybe your husband’s not a believer. Maybe your husband isn’t walking with the Lord. What if your husband doesn’t have a walk with God and may never praise you in the way that we’ve just heard from some of these other men?

Let me just say two things to encourage you. First of all, no matter what the spiritual condition of your husband, you can still walk with God. You can still live out God’s standard for what it means to be a woman of virtue, a woman of noble character. Secondly, remember that ultimately your praise comes not from a man, but from God. God’s Word promises that a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised. You see it’s worth it to fear the Lord, reverence the Lord, walk with God whether or not you ever hear another human being praise you for it.

So Paul tells us in Colossians 3:22 serve “heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” Sooner or later if you’re walking with God, you will be praised. The woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

A High and Holy Calling (Day 19)

Very important way that you watch over the ways of your household—that’s in prayer.

In the New Testament, we often find watching and praying linked together. Jesus said, “Watch and pray, so that you don’t fall into temptation” (Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38). It’s a protection for you to watch and pray over the ways of your household, but it’s also a wonderful means that you provide a protection for your husband.

Your husbands, if they are in almost any work environment that you can think of, are being faced with temptations and with pressures. The enemy, Satan himself, is working to pull them down, especially if your husband is a believer and wanting to walk with God. There are lots and lots and lots of opportunities for him to fail spiritually, morally, and in other ways.

What are some of the things that can be time-wasters? What can steal our time and keep us from using our time effectively at managing our homes? What comes to mind when I talk about things that can be “the bread of idleness” for us?

Guest 1: One of the chief things I think of today is being a “news hound” on television.

Guest 2: Well, the computer! There is all kinds of wonderful things that you can learn on the computer. Then there is also cute little stories that you want to share with all your friends.

Guest 3: One of the things that I think about is simply getting up late in the morning, because if we lay in bed, there are things that aren’t getting done.

Guest 4: I was going to share, one of the things that steals my time is that nifty little snooze button!

Guest 5: Things in your house you should throw away. Mom and I kind of have the same problem of picking up things and sticking them someplace. I have a friend that says, “Oh, your stuff will be always safe until Jesus comes.”

Guest 6: I find a time-saver is when I make a list and prioritize things that need to be done. I usually do that after I have my morning devotion time and prayer time, and I ask God to show me what to do and how to prioritize. I ask Him what the most important things should be—the things that I don’t always do, but I do desire to. I can certainly see a difference when I take time and do that and then I check off things I don’t get to, and they go at the top of the list the next day.

Nancy: So, a big time-waster can be not taking the time to ask the Lord to help us prioritize our day. If you don’t get into the presence of the Lord to start your day, you will find out that you are wasting time. My dad used to love that verse in Proverbs that says, “Reverence for God adds hours to each day” (Proverbs 10:27), and God really does make those hours more fruitful and more productive, if we’re seeking Him as to how we should be using them.

Guest 8: I’ve found that bitterness and anger produced a great deal of idleness in my life because I wanted to sleep or watch television, not think—so that I didn’t have to think.

Tamara: I have found that magazines are a big time waster. You can sit down and thing, “Oh, I’m just going to look for five minutes,” and half an hour easily flies by, or even an hour.

Guest 10: I find that the telephone is a real problem. 

Amanda: For me personally, I’m a perfectionist, and I find that in my perfectionism, I think, instead of jumping into something and getting it done, that I can’t do it right. It’s not going to be perfect, so therefore, why even try. I think that leads to a lot of idleness and being undisciplined for me, instead of just asking God to help and give me the strength to do it and get it done.

Nancy: A cousin to that, Amanda, is what I do a lot—that is to sit and think about how hard this job is and how long it’s going to take me to do it. In all the time I spent worrying and fretting about it, I probably could have just gotten it done. Another time-waster?

Nancy: Now, if we think about time-wasters and not being idle, maybe that makes you feel a little uptight—just thinking about it. Life is going to be just work, work, work, and work. There’s just no fun and no joy. Well, let’s go back to define joy.

Joy is knowing and doing the will of God for my life for this season of my life. That’s joy—doing it with Christ, doing it in the fullness and the power of His Spirit.

Make sure that your schedule and your moments are under the control and the direction of God’s Holy Spirit. There’s so much freedom in being set free from idleness because then we’re free to do what it is that God has called us to do.

We’re letting some of these lesser things steal time that rightly belongs to the Lord and to our families.

If that’s where God finds you, again, as I’ve said throughout this series, don’t let that put you on a guilt trip. If you’re guilty, repent. Confess it to the Lord. Agree with God about it. Get His forgiveness, which happens by virtue—not of your perfectionism, but Christ’s perfection—His death on the cross for your sin. Receive His forgiveness, and then ask Him for the power of His Holy Spirit to enable you to walk in accordance with His Word.

We’re not talking about getting overwhelmed and frustrated by all the things we can’t measure up to. We’re talking about finding the power of the Holy Spirit to live in the way that God wants us to live. For those of us who are women, that means looking well—watching well over the ways of our household, and not eating the bread of idleness.

We think of a spiritual woman—if we were just to make a list—as a woman who goes to Bible studies, teaches a Sunday school class, or is involved in counseling. We say, “That’s a spiritual woman!” She reads her Bible a lot, she memorizes Scripture, and she does all these things that we think of as “spiritual.”

But, can I say that those things aren’t what make you inherently a spiritual woman? This woman in Proverbs 31 is a spiritual woman, and how do you know? It’s because of all the ways she serves her family.

That’s how she lives out her heart for the Lord. There’s nothing in this chapter about a woman going to Bible studies. Now, I hope if you have the opportunity to be involved in a Bible study, that you are. But I’ll tell you that you can sit in Bible studies all week long and fail to fulfill God’s calling in your life.

If getting to know the Bible and having all kinds of fellowship and all kinds of meetings doesn’t make you a better wife and mother and homemaker—then what’s the point? That’s not spiritual. In fact, invariably, that will lead to pride. “Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies” (1 Corinthians 8:1).

This woman is a lover. She’s a giver. She’s a servant. That’s her calling in life. You say, “I don’t think I want that calling.” Listen: You’re never more like Jesus than when you’re serving. You’re never more like Jesus than when you take that towel and that basin of water and wash the feet of the disciples—that’s spirituality! That’s Christianity at work: women being compassionate, givers, servers, lovers, and caretakers.

God does not want you to go through the motions of caring for your family and your home. You can have a spic-and-span, perfectly decorated home and not be a spiritual woman. But when you take the love of Christ and a servant’s heart after Christ, and you apply it in the context of your home—that’s a beautiful woman! That’s a godly woman.

What you’re doing in that home may not seem very important. It may not seem very meaningful. It may not seem very fulfilling. Where did we get that word? Fulfilling— everything today has to be fulfilling. That is so selfish!

The question is: Are you fulfilling God’s purpose and God’s plan for your life? Not: Are you fulfilling what you want to do with your life? If you want ultimate joy and ultimate happiness, then set yourself to do the will of God, and you will find there is, long-term, nothing more fulfilling.

Remember that as you serve in the context of your home, that is your supreme service to God. When you keep that home clean, when you are mending those clothes, when you are packing those lunches for your kids’ school and you’re picking up after family, and when you’re training your children and you’re watching over the ways of your household, you’re not just serving your husband and your children—you’re serving God.

Let me just close by reading this little piece of verse, called A Little Place.

Where should I work today, dear Lord, and my love flowed warm and free. 

He answered and said, “See that little place? Tend that place for me.”

I answered and I said, “Oh no, not there! No one would ever see,

No matter how well my work was done. Not that place for me.”

His voice, when He spoke, was soft and kind. He answered me tenderly,

“Little one, search thy heart of thine. Are you working for them or me?

Nazareth was a little place and so was Galilee.”

Aren’t we glad that the King of the universe, the Creator of the world, left Heaven and said, “I’ll step into that little place. I’ll serve. I’ll lay down My life, so they can have life.”

When you serve in your home, you’re following in the steps of the Savior, and there’s no bigger, grander place you could be!

What Does Your Home Communicate (Day 18)

She’s not just letting her family grow up. She is watching as they grow up.

She’s like a watchman.

• She watches over the affairs, the ways of her household. 
• She’s alert to the condition of her home. 
• She knows what’s going on. She knows the needs of her family. 
• She knows the temperature, the climate, of her home. 
• She’s tuned to changes in her children’s lives

Now that doesn’t mean you nag. It doesn’t mean you’re the Holy Spirit in their lives. You think before you say it, and you wait to see if it’s God’s time and make sure you’re perceiving it correctly. But as you’re watchful, you’re being a helper to your husband; you’re being a helper to your family.

Here’s a woman that as she watches over the ways of her household, she doesn’t miss anything. She’s alert to the details of what’s happening in her family—not so that she can be the controller of her family, but that she can be a better servant to her family.

Now some of this you can’t know by looking. But I tell you that as you pray for your children, and as you’re in the Word, the Holy Spirit will help you know what you might not otherwise be able to know.

God will give you wisdom. God will give you insight into what’s happening in the lives of your children. He’ll show you what to watch out for. Parenting and being a wife, being a virtuous woman is something you do by walking in the power of the Holy Spirit.

There’s a time to open your door for hospitality. There’s a time to say, our family needs to be together. We’ve been coming and going too much. That’s watching well to the ways of your home. And, of course, you’re not doing this independently of your husband. You’re doing it in partnership with him as his helper.

It may be that your husband at some point doesn’t see what you see. Then don’t nag him about it. Make your point, then back off and let the Lord be the one who makes the point to your husband.

So when necessary, sound the alarm to your husband, but don’t keep your finger on the alarm. Let it go and let the Lord be the one who puts that on your husband’s heart.

1 Tim 5: not only idle, but also gossips and busybodies. You see, when you’re not occupied with doing the things that God has created you to do; when you have time on your hands that God didn’t intend to be used as something else, then you’re going to fill that time with something. And often what we fill it with is talking.

Women who have a lot of time to talk on the telephone may be missing out on some of the things they should be doing with that time. And what happens when we have a lot of time to talk? We tend to become gossips and busybodies.

Paul goes on to say, “saying things that they ought not to say.”

You see, if you’re idle, you won’t be able to manage your house. You won’t be able to look well to the ways of your household. But if you’re diligent, then you will be able to provide the kind of organization and the management and the leadership that your home needs.

If you’re idle, things in your house are going to be out of control. If you’re spending your time doing things that aren’t the thing to do for this season of life, then you’ll find your house just spinning out of control.

That’s where you find women who say, “My house is a mess. I can’t get it cleaned up. I can’t get it organized. My life is a mess. My life is spun out of control. My children are out of control.” These tend to be women who are out of control because they’ve been idle.

So you see the contrast here? If you’re idle, you won’t be able to manage your house well.

So Proverbs says, this woman does manage her house well. “She watches well to the ways of her household because she does not eat the bread of idleness” (verse 27).

“Why I Love My Mom.” 

Mom and dad were watching TV when mom said, "I’m tired. It’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed." So she went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons in bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the games pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied the waste basket, and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled out a text book hiding out under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth, and did her nails. Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I’m on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and called the cat in, then made sure the doors were locked. She look in on each of the kids, turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still up doing homework.

Back in her own room she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow. About that time, dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular, "I’m going to bed," and he did without another thought.

-some girl

She’s a hard worker, always on the alert, always watching out to make sure that her family’s needs are met.

Because, you see, if a woman is not doing what God called her to do in the managing of her household, if she’s not busy doing the work God has assigned to her, then she will be idle and her household, whatever that is at that season of her life, is going to be out of order. Then the enemy can point a finger and say, “That’s a Christian?” It won’t just be a negative reflection on her, it will reflect negatively on her husband, on her children, and most importantly, on Christ.

Through a repentant heart and a teachable humble spirit, all of us can learn to acquire those skills and those disciplines that we need to have to be the women God wants us to be. Go to the Lord first as this woman is doing and say, “Lord, I don’t want to be this way. I want to be a disciplined woman. I don’t want to be idle. I want to train my children in the right ways, but I need your grace.” Then find a woman who knows God and walks with God and is disciplined in the areas where you struggle and say, “Would you help me?” Humble yourself.

You may say, “I just couldn’t bare to bring someone else into my home.” Humble yourself. Get somebody. Some people just are born organizers. I don’t know that anybody is born disciplined, that’s something that the spirit develops in our lives. But there are some people who are a little more natural about organizing their schedule and their day and their environment.

Learn how to clean my house, how to organize my surroundings, how to keep my body under control?” Just disciplines, basic disciplines of life.  -when God speaks to you about something, it’s not too late to deal with it

if you don’t, just a reminder of the consequences. Your husband will reap those consequences; your children will reap those consequences, and the enemy, Satan himself, will have ammunition. He’ll have ammunition to keep you defeated, to keep you in bondage as this woman I just read. She’s miserable because the enemy’s accusing her.

He's saying, “Look at you. You can’t get your life together.” But there are other people looking at her. The enemy is using her lack of discipline, her idleness as an occasion to make Christ look bad.

Now, I don’t want to put you on a guilt trip with that. I just want to say that’s why a lot is at stake when we talk about becoming women who reflect the beauty and the heart of Christ.

It’s not just so we can be happier. It’s because there’s a gospel that’s involved here. The way that we live and the way we function and the way our homes look all reflect on the gospel of Christ.

That’s why I want my surroundings and the way I function and the way I work at my schedule and the way I use my time, everything about my environment to say, this is what God looks like. This is His beauty. These are His ways, and to make those ways attractive to a watching world.

     Jesus, help me to be more like this. Help me to have Your heart so I care about the details and can see the spiritual significance behind them. Help me to manage well the affairs of my household and be in tune with Nate's needs and also be close to You so You can instruct me throughout the day. I love You, Jesus :)