The Reward (Day 20)

In the recesses of our hearts, we have to wonder at moments, “Do I get anything out of this? What’s the reward? What’s the benefit?”

At long last, in Proverbs 31, we’re coming to the last paragraph, which is the section that tells us about the rewards of being a woman of virtue. Now, these rewards don’t all come at the same time and none of them come quickly. You have to be patient. You have to endure. You have to go through a lot of tears and heartache and pain and hard labor to get the rewards in much the same way magnified . . . There’s no way—those of you that are mothers—that you could have brought a child into this world without going through labor.

The problem is today people bail out on their marriages. They bail out on their families because there’s no reward in it. They didn’t wait long enough. They wanted the reward now. They wanted it instantly. They wanted to have after three years of marriage what you can’t have until you’ve been married 30, 40, 50 years.

I’m watching some of my elderly friends now, I mean old people who now, after having been married 60 or more years, are reaping in their marriage sweet and precious things in their relationship that are richer than what they ever experienced in their younger years.

But here we’re talking about mothers and children. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Here’s a woman who’s rewarded. She’s loved. She’s praised. If you keep in mind the Middle Eastern culture in which this passage was originally written, this is really surprising because there was very little said in this culture in praise of women. The Scripture and the Lord and Christ have always elevated the value and the worth of women in a culture. That’s what this passage does for us.

They rise up and call her blessed. It doesn’t necessarily mean that when you walk in the room, your children all stand up to show you how much they respect and honor you, though I would say that’s not a bad idea.

More likely, it means that your children grow up to live in a way that brings blessing and credit and honor to their mother. That the way they live when they become adults will reflect positively on the investment that you made in their lives and the way that you brought them up. It means that your children have a better chance than anyone else’s children of growing up to live godly lives and to fulfill God’s role for them in their homes. The fruit of your children’s lives as they grow to walk with God is your blessing. Her children rise up and their lives call her blessed.

I love that passage in 1 Thessalonians chapter 2, verse 19, where Paul says, thinking of his spiritual children, “For what is our hope, or joy, or our crown of rejoicing? Is it not even you [the ones we’ve discipled, the ones we’ve nurtured] in the presence of our Lord Jesus Christ at His coming? For you are our glory and our joy.” Those of you who have children who have grown up to walk with God, aren’t they your joy and your blessing?

Now, this is not a promise that every child who grows up in a Christian or a godly home will grow up to fear and honor the Lord because they will have the responsibility of making their own choices to follow Christ even as you have had to choose to follow Christ. But I think it does say that this is the way that it ought to be. This is the way, by God’s grace, you pray that it will be, that your children will grow up to reflect in a godly way on what you have invested in their lives.

A Calling.

The daughter said:

I know a woman who lived a truth she found in Proverbs 31, and as she lived

She proclaimed it with all her being.

Arise women! You can be beautiful as God created you to be!

Surrender your lives to the task, Oh women, we are here to serve Him!

So, give your body to bear His glory! 

[That’s what this daughter had heard from her mom.]

Give your hands to comfort and prepare, your mouth to teach and your arms to bear

The weight of your children’s woes. Be the fuel to your husband’s flame and help him

Cast its light. And be the one on bended knees—you are God’s precious bride!

So, go to the Father to find who you are, and not to this world of deception.

For He has a beauty to make out of you, so surrender, surrender.

While our world is quickly extinguishing all that we women long to be,

I see one who stands unyielding in God’s truth and grace and plan.

Truth with no excuses.

What is a woman of God? What is the call to motherhood?

What does it mean to be a godly wife who serves?

I don’t really know . . . . but have you met my mother?

This mom told me that when her daughter brought this to her, she just lost it. She just lost it. And this daughter signed, “P.S.: [to her mom] You are my inspiration to someday be selfless and humble. A mother who knows why she is a mother and does it with joy . . . Thank you! I love you.”

Many of you are familiar with the name of Bill Bright—Dr. Bright, the founder and president of Campus Crusade for Christ. He tells the story about his mother who was what many would consider an ordinary woman. As Mrs. Bright lay dying at age 93, no fewer than 109 members of her family—that was children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great, great-grandchildren—109 of them made their way one after the other to her bedside to express love and appreciation for her life. They did it before the funeral. They came back to say thank you. Her children, her family rose up to call her blessed.

But verse 28 goes on to tell us that her husband does as well. He praises her. He says, verse 29, “Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.” You surpass them all. You’re the greatest. You’re the best.

Charles Spurgeon—many of you know that name—great British preacher of the 1800s, wrote a tribute to his wife Susannah. Here’s in part what he said:

She delights in her husband. [Now this is the husband writing about his wife.] She delights in her husband, in his person, his character, his affection; to her, he is not only the chief and foremost of mankind, but in her eyes, he is all in all. Her heart’s love belongs to him and to him only.

 He is her little world, her paradise, her choice treasure. She is glad to sink her individuality in him; she seeks no renown for herself; his honor is reflected upon her, and she rejoices in it. She will defend his name with her dying breath; safe enough is he where she can speak for him. His smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks. Even in her dress she thinks of him, and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him. 

He has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand; but she believes them all, and anything she can do to promote them, she delights to perform. Such a wife, as a true spouse, realizes the model marriage relation, and sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be.¹

Here’s a man who was saying in effect, “My wife surpasses them all.” She had earned that respect. She had earned that honor because she was a woman who didn’t live for herself, but she lived to be a blessing and a service and a helper—a support—to her husband and to their children.

Man 2: “How can I pray for you today? What are you facing that is difficult?” She’ll ask me those same questions and then we’ll just briefly pray for each other and remind ourselves that we care spiritually for each other.

Man 5: The maturity I’ve seen in her to trust God for whatever the problem might be. There’s an underlying foundation there of being secure and being aware that God is in charge and God loves us and God is the basis for our marriage.

Now, as we look at a passage like this one we’ve been seeing in Proverbs 31, I’m tempted to speak to men for just a moment and say, “What this passage means is you need to praise your wives.” But you know what, God didn’t call me to speak to men. God did call me to speak to women, so what does this passage say to us as women? It says that if you will watch your walk with God, the time will come when there will be a reward.

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “But my husband doesn’t praise me. I’m trying to please my husband. I’m trying to please the Lord.” Maybe your husband’s not a believer. Maybe your husband isn’t walking with the Lord. What if your husband doesn’t have a walk with God and may never praise you in the way that we’ve just heard from some of these other men?

Let me just say two things to encourage you. First of all, no matter what the spiritual condition of your husband, you can still walk with God. You can still live out God’s standard for what it means to be a woman of virtue, a woman of noble character. Secondly, remember that ultimately your praise comes not from a man, but from God. God’s Word promises that a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised. You see it’s worth it to fear the Lord, reverence the Lord, walk with God whether or not you ever hear another human being praise you for it.

So Paul tells us in Colossians 3:22 serve “heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.” Sooner or later if you’re walking with God, you will be praised. The woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.