She has a permanent, unconditional, lifetime commitment to act in a way that is according to his best interests—not to serve herself, but to serve her husband.I like the way the Amplified Bible reads at this point. Listen to what it says: “The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her.”
Proverbs talks about women who do their husbands evil and not good. It talks about a brawling woman, a contentious woman who makes life miserable for her husband. I think all of us as women have known what it is to be contentious—to be that whiny woman who’s like a dripping faucet and makes her husband wish that he could live on the corner of the roof, or out in a desert somewhere, once he gets tired of that kind of woman who is not doing him good. She’s doing him evil.
She’s faithful in financial matters. She’s not going to spend beyond their means. She’s going to do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
This woman is faithful. She’s loyal. She’s a covenant-keeping woman in implementing her husband’s heart in the home with the children. When she gives direction to the children, she represents the heart of her husband, and he can trust her. When he’s gone from home, she’s going to be implementing his heart in the home.
He can trust her to speak well of him and to keep confidences, not to go out blabbing things to other women that are private matters in their marriage. He can trust her in the way that she speaks about him. He can trust her to protect his reputation.
So he has no need for jealousy or suspicion. He doesn’t have to doubt her love. He doesn’t have to be insecure. He doesn’t have to look elsewhere to have his needs met. He’s confident that while he’s gone, while he’s at work, while he’s at home, she is one in spirit with him. His interests are safe in her keeping.
She’s consistent. She’s a covenant-keeper. She has an unconditional commitment, and that is what earns the trust of her husband. She always, always, always has his best interests at heart. She’s not in competition with him. She’s committed to his success.
That’s what inspires the man to be worthy of her devotion. He rises to that because he knows he has a woman who is an asset, not a liability—a woman who supports and encourages and helps him in every way possible.
You just have to have a heart that reverences the Lord. Out of that heart for God will come that kind of commitment and devotion to your man, to your husband.
Do you have that kind of commitment to your husband—a commitment that, by God’s grace, you will do your husband good and not evil all the days of your life? That, by God’s grace, you will be faithful to him regardless of what he does, regardless of how he may or may not live up to your expectations or hopes or dreams? Have you totally eliminated the D-word—divorce—from your vocabulary? If it’s even in your vocabulary in your marriage, then you’re not this kind of woman.
She’s learned to express those things in ways that are broken and gentle and considerate of others. Maybe it comes down to humility and yieldedness—yieldedness to the Spirit of God. That’s what we’re trying to challenge women to do.
Bob: How hard is that for you to be that way now?
Kim Wagner: It is a moment-by-moment process, but it is not as challenging as it was at first—because at first I didn’t even see it. Through getting into the Word, it has become easier. It’s also even become an act of worship for me to the Lord, because I recognize that this is something that . . . Yes, He created me with certain personality traits or abilities, but when I abuse those things or when I’m not Christ-like in my demeanor, it brings shame to His name.
So when I offer those things as acts of worship to Him—to bring those under the Spirit’s control—there’s a real delight in doing that. And that doesn’t mean that I don’t still try and lead, or I’m not in positions that the Lord allows me to do that.
Kim: Right. But I’m learning that there is a godly way to do that, and there is a harsh, fleshly way to do that.
Dear Jesus. Help me to be completely committed to Nathan. To his hopes, his dreams, his success. Help me guard my mind, heart, and emotions against anyone who might threaten the bond we have. Help me to be watchful of ways to stand up for and protect our marriage. Help me to be a wife that Nathan trust with abandon. I mean, I pray that he really really trusts me. When it comes to anything. Help me to respect him and to make sure that his words weigh heavy with me. Help me to be faithful with our finances and in the way I speak of him, always holding him up. Help me to support and encourage him, and to release him from my expectaions both daily and in the future, trusting You to fulfill the desires of my heart, filling it's deepest spaces.
Jesus guide me to be one in spirit with him throughout the day and to reflect his love, wonderful, amazing heart. Amen
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